My NLP Journey. Or: “The resilience to deal with curve balls, and knowing whether I bat them away, miss them, or even get knocked down by them – I’ve not failed, I’ve simply learned another lesson.”
By Julia Bickley
Life throws you some curve balls at times doesn’t it? Sometimes you see them coming and can prepare yourself and other times they can knock you down.
Having the resources, resilience, insight and ability to deal with this in a solution focused, positive way is just brilliant, no, it’s much more than that… it is life-changing.
Several years ago I experienced the knocking-down kind of curve-ball. This was a big one – it was coming straight at me, and was so large, it ploughed down everything in its way.
You see, what happened was that, completely out of the blue, my world was revealed as being built on a lie. Everything I thought I knew as truth was not. What I thought was a committed relationship and a solid family unit was not.
Now I’m not going into the details of this because I have dealt with it, moved on, became stronger and more resilient. I firmly believe this was because it was my great fortune to already be on my NLP learning journey, doing my NLP Practitioner, at that time of “The Big Curve Ball”.
So, yes, it hit me, and it hurt. And just to make things even more interesting, I discovered I needed serious surgery, life-altering stuff. This was scary. And the support I had relied on for so many years, had dissolved.
But then, with the tools I was learning I made a conscious decision. I simply decided to move forward in terms of the person I wanted to be.
I designed our lives so that my children have a positive outlook, one that doesn’t need my story, nor my hurt or upset attached. Their relationship with their father is important to them. It always will be. So I made conscious decisions to ensure they have the best future possible.
Being able to let go of negative emotions, focus on self-fulfilment and positivity has enhanced not only my self-worth but enlightened me to my purpose. Moving forwards towards my purpose, of supporting and developing others to make positive, lasting changes in their lives has and does support my personal growth and fulfilment even more.
Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? But the great thing is that we all have these resourceful states available to us. They are kind of built-in. And whilst we might need to create some space and time in which to find them and learn how to use them – they are there. Just under the surface. And this is where NLP learning comes in.
NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming, was introduced to me through a wonderful manager that I had the pleasure of working with for several years. She herself had experienced the personal growth and achievements that practising NLP brings and she wanted me to support others within the organisation with these skills.
So, off I went to try a weekend course in NLP, to learn more about it and find out how it could enhance my role as Learning and Development Manager. It didn’t take too long to have me hooked. I think it was just after the first morning break that I realised these were “tools for life”.
I remember questioning myself – how was it that I had got into my late thirties without knowing this stuff?
Most of the group participating on this short weekend course with me were staying on for a further 13 days to complete a 15 day NLP Practitioner Course.
I was transfixed – this was not going to pass me by, I was determined to do this course and I funded myself. I gave up several weekends, organising childcare (remember I was right in the middle of a breakup) for my young children to dive into this experiential, challenging and amazing experience.
I can clearly remember, one day, looking at that trainer and feeling a sense of extreme calm and happiness coming from him and thinking to myself…”I want to do that” “I want to share this amazing learning with other people and enable them to feel like I feel, like the rest of the group felt”
I think it was on the last day of that course when we worked on our future goals. We created a ‘timeline’ of what we would achieve and when we would do it.
I worked hard on this plan and then filed it away. Interestingly enough, some 6 years later I came across this timeline or action plan and was stunned by how accurately it depicted the development journey and career journey I have actually been on. Amazing!
My initial NLP Practitioner journey unlocked the strength and confidence I needed when my 19-year relationship ended, to think positively, support myself in a deliberately caring way, enabling me to move forward with positivity and care for all around me. It was a turning point, NLP was life changing for me and still is to this day.
My journey has taken me to completing an NLP Master Practitioner course, qualifying as a coach, MBTI practitioner, Laughter Yoga Leader, and NLP Trainer. Through all this my aim is supporting and developing other people to make positive changes in their lives.
Do I ever think that all of that time spent developing myself has been a waste of time or money? Absolutely not! I only wish I had learnt this earlier in life, and I do my best to pass on this way of thinking to my children as part of positive parenting.
I recommend NLP and the key learning points to many people in my role as a trainer and coach, and this is not just for people who face challenges. It is about being the best you can be, believing in yourself and what you can achieve and supporting others to do the same.
NLP was the best coaching training I have experienced and although I am now a qualified ILM Level 5 Coach and ILM Coach Trainer, the real learning and the skills I repeatedly use come from my NLP learning. Why?… because they make a difference at a deeper level, these skills are about supporting people to be resourceful and empowered.
Life challenging, the odd curve balls still come my way and I am much better equipped to deal with them and be helpful to myself along the way.
The people I have the pleasure of teaching NLP skills, tell me how NLP has changed their lives, how it has made huge and amazing differences for them… THIS is the best, most amazing part of my NLP journey and why I do what I do.
How would you live your life, if you knew that the next curve-ball to hit you was going to improve your life, not cause you stress and anxiety?
What would you do in your life if you knew you couldn’t fail?